dear sweden..

today is my last day in sweden.

this has been a beautiful land,
full of red, green, yellow, and orange foliage above me and beneath my feet
full of evergreen forests, oak, birch and dogwood trees and fluffy grass
full of touched and unseen trails that are always waiting patiently for visitors
full of skies a perfect shade of azure and stark white clouds that move steadily through it
full of gentle cool breezes coming in from the sea and blowing my unruly hair even more so
full of misaligned cobblestone streets aligned by boutique shops on either side
full of small red old barns and big antique pastel homes with gnome gardens that came right out of a storybook
full of hidden lakes and open canals, abandoned boats and partnered ducks
full of blissful young and old human beings, with golden hair, swedish words, and genuine smiles
full of brave foxes, swans, black birds, squirrels and magpies who love the outdoors as much as i do
full of temperamental rain, dissonant wind and magical hail falling like diamonds from the sky
full of a gentle, cozy embracing cold that only scandinavia can brag about.

thank you sweden, for letting me call you my home these past few months.
a part of my heart will always be here.

dear john..

my heart feels heavy

as i wear it tonight

tears are stained on my face

as i catch my very last sight.

for all that i've done

for all that i've said

i never meant it to end like this

no matter what i did.

you are a godsend

that i never did deserve

and i am happy that i replied to your yahoo email

and did not give into my nerve.

i am sorry

for all that i never was

i am sorry

for doing things a girlfriend never does.

you will always remain special

as the one who loved me most

thank you for the last 3 years

and for being my life adventure host.

i hope we meet again someday

no matter what you say.

you will always have a part of me

whether or not you want it to be.

a rose without a thorn?

is friendship truly the only rose without a thorn?

i don't think so.

misunderstandings happen.
especially when assumptions are involved.
people get hurt.
people get offended.
people get angry.
people get defensive.
fallings out fall upon you.
you question yourself.
you question the other person.
you question what it means to be friends.
you lose face.
you lose sight.
you lose friendships.
sometimes, you lose faith.

then, after some time passes, you think about everything you've thought about before.
and you gain perspective.
of what it means to have a friendship with another person.
of what your responsibility is in a friendship.
of what your responsibility is in being the friend of that friend.
of how you can now grow that much more as a person.
because i believe we are put here on earth to learn and to grow, from ourselves and from each other.
and i thank all of my friendships for that.

??

i am about to be off on a different sort of adventure...one that will include nearly every aspect of my life. it's scary and uncertain but that is part of the beauty of an adventure, isn't it?

wish me happy travels.

i will be starting a new blog soon.

never stop dreaming..

I have been uber-inspired lately.

By nature.

By life.

By love.

By the strangers I pass by.

By this little town I call home.

By everything that surrounds me.

It makes me want to shout at the tops of mountains.

Write intimate poetry.

Draw even though I can't.

Take lots and lots of photographs (then practice Photoshopping on them).

Read then sit and stew in the inspiring Coelho lines I just read.

Then share them with the world.

Then REPEAT all of the above.

Never stop dreaming for dreams never stop dreaming of you.

the universe has told me..

the right time right place

is perfection's base

the universe has bigger plans

rushing it is like building a house with cans.

we roll our death save dice

and hope we hit 20 twice

then we dream the rest of the way

for that perfect day.

the music of life fills my ears

the song of my soul fills my years

we cross paths for a reason

be it apple eatin' or snowflake season.

we ask ourselves the same questions

and we learn the same lessons

but we hope for different answers

from life's beautiful dancers.

there is nothing like a smile

to give each other that extra mile

thank you for coming into my life

for you've made me grow from my strife.

brighter colors.

someone once told me that when they started taking anti-depressants, they didn't suddenly become over-ecstatic and hyper-happy. the world simply appeared to them in brighter colors. this is really what i see when i walk around karlshamn. photoshop enhancements (and my memories) capture my views better than what my little camera can.

karlshamn as i see it..:)

what a lovely day in the neighborhood. all that was missing was mr. rogers!

Socky's back!

once you hang with the lusa, you can't go back! it was fun hangin with good ol socky once more! here's my tribute to her/him!!

PHO geddabout it!!

i was REALLY craving pho and since there were no vietnamese restaurants in town, dkf was so kind to grant me my wish!!

duly noted: it is hard to thin slice sirloin tip with a large butcher knife!

the beef broth in the front, the rice noodle in the back

basil and jalapenos

and the pho broth! onions, lemongrass, peppercorn, ginger were some of the ingredients, just to name a few.

placing the raw meat on the noodles, then pour the broth on..

voila! dkf is officially the most global cook ever! he made PHO, from the broth (with a million ingredients), to the rice noodle, to the well attempted sirloin tip slices, to the garnishes! it was yummy and just what the doctor ordered for a sick person on a cold swedish nite! and on Day 2, it tasted even better!

glimpses of karlshamn in autumn!

lingonberries???

after an afternoon with you......

ooh colors!

love the color transition!

apples!!!!!!

i <3 graffti! well, the artistic aspect of it, at least!

 happy Fall! i have Fallen in love with Fall! i don't care how cold it is, it's apple eatin' weather here in sweden!

:(

 

Chicken soup for the sick soul.

bless dkf for making such good food for my sick soul. what would i do without him? :)

PB choc chip cookies

checkin' for perfection

Japanese Chicken with Scallions

scallions

Japanese Chicken-Scallion Rice Bowl

garlic bits over potatoes and turkey

Not Like the Movies

Not Like the Movies
Katy Perry

He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.

I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could.

If it's not like the movies,
Thats how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.

Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,

If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.

If it's not like the movies,
Thats how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And thats just the beginning.

'Cause I know you're out there,
And your, your love came for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.

Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
And it's just the beginning.

cemetary peace.

today, after my long forest hike, i decided to follow the road across the forest into a green area, hoping to discover another hidden treasure. it looked like it might be a park or picnic area. what i ended up finding was a beautiful and serene cemetary.

cemetaries don't creep me out. part of this is because i have been to the memorial park many times to bury many kin. i've also made many trips to visit them. i have always associated cemetaries with peace and quiet, sorta like how i feel when i walk through a park or the forest. usually, they are very green, full of foliage of all sorts, well manicured, empty of people, and thus a great place to meditate and breathe in fresh air. i hope the people resting in peace don't mind that i enjoyed being in their company and the company of the beautiful tree canopy road that ran down the middle, even as we are strangers. this cemetary was well kept, and dated way back in the early 1900s in terms of the birthdates of the residents. most of the last names appeared Swedish, some sounded German too. the cemetary is surrounded by a main road on one side and a small road on another. on the other sides, it is surrounded by lines of bushes and grass (unoccupied plots i presume) which gave off a gentle sense of privacy and peace. i noticed how many of the headstones were simple in nature, some very monolithic, which i really liked. i saw designs i had not seen back in the US cemetaries. cemetaries also strike me as very artistic as well. they make for poetic fotos. black and white fotos always seem to capture the solitude, tranquility and eternity of these beautiful final resting places. i would love to sit on the grass and read a book in the late afternoon, perhaps have a picnic, oh but i know the policy on picnics. just an afternoon dream i have... thank you kyrkogård, for being a wonderful afternoon discovery.

and i'm back!

it was a wonderful month in the OC, full of sunshine, smiles, laughter, sand and surf, kids, food, family, friends, music, and joy and pure bliss of being alive.

i will miss it...but i will be back..